Staying in Love Series Part III // DATE NIGHT

Written with love, by Pastor Dave Page

One key habit I encourage every couple to develop in their marriage is to have a Date Night. I consider date nights essential for staying in love, staying connected and keeping the relationship on track. 


It’s been said, “If there was more courting in marriage, there would be fewer marriages in court.” 

In fact, a report released by the National Marriage Project found that couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates compared to couples who do not devote as much couple time to one another. The bottom line is date nights can dramatically enhance your relationship.

“Sustaining intimacy is probably the most challenging task a human being has in his or her lifetime,” says Jared Scherz, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples. Most marriages begin with romantic love that is linked to passion, excitement and an overwhelming sense of attraction to one another. However, over time the passion can fade if you do nothing to nurture it. Date nights have the potential to take a boring marriage and make it exciting, meaningful and fun again.  


Earlier in our marriage I asked my wife what I could do to better meet her needs. “Ask me out on more dates,” she said. "Just ask me. I won’t say no - I’m easy!” I got the hint. I now ask her out on a date nearly every week unless I am out of town traveling for work. It keeps us connected and involved in each others' lives. If we didn’t have our consistent date night, we’d be like two ships passing in the night. 

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Unfortunately, more than 30% of women told Glamour Magazine they haven’t been on a real date in more than a year, and that 88% of women in relationships don’t have regular date nights.

I’m a bit old school when it comes to dating. I believe guys should take the initiative and ask their wives out on a date. I have nothing against the wife occasionally asking the husband, in fact I think it’s healthy, but I think the main responsibility rests with husbands.

If you are a wife reading this post, do yourself a favor and share it with your husband. Let him know that Pastor Dave is challenging him to develop the habit of taking you out on a date once a week, to be intentional about having a consistent Date Night.


Here are some quotes by some wives on the importance of Date Night:

"Date Night is something to look forward to. It’s a treat. It’s when I get to put my feet up and have a nice meal prepared for me. I know that if I have date night on the horizon, I can make it through a long week.”

"As a homemaker and mother, I never really get to clock-out and leave my responsibilities at work. Break time for me is usually bedtime. Everyone needs a break once in a while."

"Date Night refreshes me and gives me energy to continue doing well in my roles as worker and mom.”

"Date Night provides the opportunity for grown-up conversation."

"Date night reminds me that one of my roles is also being a wife; and it reminds me what fun that role is!"

"Date Night gives me time with my guy when I have his full attention. When my husband plans Date Night, it shows me that I am a priority to him, that he cherishes me and values my roles as homemaker and mother. It also communicates to me that I am more than a nanny and a maid. I am desirable to him and he wants to be with me.”

Need I said anymore about the importance of Date Night?


Maybe it’s been years since you and your spouse have been on a real date. Here are a few tips on how to shake off the rust and reconnect:

-- Schedule It: Most experts recommended that couples shoot for once a week. We have found that weekly works best for us.

-- Be Flexible: If one you gets sick or something comes up just reschedule the date.

-- Budget for It: View date night as an investment in your relationship. My wife prefers to go out to dinner for most of out date nights so I budget for it each week.

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-- Turn off the cell phone: The only person you want to talk to is right in front of you.

-- Talk about your relationship and have fun together: “If you’re talking about the kids or their bills, it’s not a date,” says Lisa Brateman, a New York-based psychotherapist and relationship specialist. “Those issues are still going to be there on Monday.”

-- Look Nice: You don’t need to get all dressed up, although that is fun to do occasionally. But dress nice for each other as you go out on your date.

-- Just Do It: Don’t let money be the reason you don’t date. There are plenty of great ways to have cheap date if necessary. Be intentional about spending time with the one you love. Your wedding ceremony shouldn’t be the end of your dating life, rather it should be just the beginning.