Written with love, by Pastor Dave Page
Have you ever noticed how so many weddings seem the same? I seek to perform weddings that are meaningful and memorable. The key to achieving this goal is to personalize each ceremony - no cookie-cutter weddings allowed. Every couple is distinct and every couple has a story. It is my job as the officiant to help couples tell their story in a way that reflects their uniqueness, beliefs, and beauty.
I came up with a new element that I call 3 Things I Love About You. I ask couples to give me three things they love and appreciate about their fiancé and summarize these up in three words. I then ask them to write a couple sentences for each word that describes exactly what they love and appreciate so much about their future spouse. If they desire it to be a surprise on their wedding day, I ask they email me the three things separately. They then have the choice to either have me read it to their fiancé or read it themselves.
Here is a real life example:
3 Things Mark Loves About Heather:
1. Her beauty - I often just stand and stare at her from a distance. I am and have been taken back ever since I met her eight years ago. She is my take on what beauty is. Not only from a physical standpoint but also from a beautiful heart standpoint - it's all encompassing.
2. Her support - She supports and loves for me no matter where I am in my crazy head and no matter where I am in life. She constantly is my support, no matter if I was a bagger at a grocery store or the CEO of a multibillion-dollar company. I love that about her.
3. Her communication - The way we can communicate is like no other I have met. It's what all should strive for. We flow and it's a natural flow. I love to hear her stories of the day. It's like a movie every night - all I need is popcorn.
3 Things Heather Loves About Mark:
1. His passion - Mark has a passion for life. From love to work and everything between – he has it!
2. His compassion - Mark approaches everyone and everything with love. I feel so grateful to have someone who loves me this much.
3. His humility - With all that Mark has accomplished, with all he has and is, he remains humble.
Why 3 things? There is something magical about the number three. The secret of effective communication is found in the power of three. We find things easier to follow when we can break them down and remember three key things. Many familiar stories are centered on this concept of three: The Three Blind Mice, The Three Little Pigs, The Three Stooges, Three Amigos, as well as Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
I Love and Appreciate
I believe love and appreciation are the greatest gifts we can give to another human being. On the biggest day of your life, why not give the best gift you can to your fiancé by telling and showing them how much they really mean to you. The best way to do this is by speaking from the bottom of your heart.
Take a cue from Wedding Crashers: Rachel McAdams’ character wanted to be funny in her toast. Owen Wilson: “I think you're better off going with something from the heart.” Rachel McAdams: “I think people are going to like this.” Wilson: “I think you're going to hear crickets.” Unsurprisingly, Wilson’s character was right.
The words you exchange to each other during your wedding ceremony should be about vocalizing the true love your heart feels for this person. Expressing your heartfelt appreciation for your partner is not just for the wedding – it is essential to your ability to create happiness, fulfillment, and a healthy relationship throughout your marriage.
About You (The other person)
Simply put, it’s not about you. Love is about putting the needs of the other person above your own. It’s all about encouraging and building them up. The amazing result is that as you seek to meet their needs, your needs will be met in return.