Written with love, by Kesha Rashed
As a little girl you dream of the day when you marry the man of your dreams. You’re so excited, you tell your family and very close friends. The first thing that comes across your mind is THE DRESS! Then it hits you, you realize you have the daunting task of choosing your wedding party. You and your BFF have been so close for years that you automatically appoint her as the lucky Maid of Honor. Why wouldn’t you? You have shared the most intimate secrets, and she knows you better than anyone else. Being asked to be the maid of honor is a big deal even if it’s your sister’s wedding—the Maid of Honor is the one woman a bride most trusts to help her get through the joys and tribulations of her wedding planning.
Unfortunately, there are many brides who find that their chosen Maid of Honor does not live up to her title and falls into the Mohzilla category. Wait is that such a word?
So, what is this term Moh-Zilla?
Moh-Zilla is when a Maid of Honor treats the bride’s wedding as her own. She goes behind the bride’s back to get what she wants and tries to control everything most likely due to jealousy.
Imagine for a moment that you as the bride would like your Maid of Honor to wear the same dress as the other bridesmaids. She does not like the dress because it does not look right on her, so she decides to purchase a totally different dress. She sends you a picture of the dress, gorgeous and full of embellishments that you did not vision for your wedding. In addition to this, the dress may stand out more than your own bridal dress.
You politely advise her that the dress is not what you would like her to wear. She becomes demanding and tells you that she is not looking for or trying on anymore dresses, and this is what she is going to wear. This is only one of the issues that you begin to face with your best friend/maid of honor. You tell your maid of honor that you would like to take a boat ride for your bachelorette party. She does not take this under consideration as she plans the event with the other bridesmaids and decides to do a dinner instead. You are so frustrated with her taking over your wedding as if it is her own, and you don’t know what to do to avoid ruining your friendship.
Here are five tips to help avoid the dreaded Moh-Zilla:
1. Clearly communicate your expectations in the very beginning when you ask her to take on this important role. Do not assume that she knows her responsibilities, and take the time to fully explain how you would appreciate her comfort, loyalty, sense of humor, perspective, and life’s wisdom to help in the most important ways possible.
2. Try your best to keep the many changes you will be making throughout the wedding process in a notebook until you are able to finalize the details. Once you are totally sure of the particular plan, then advise your maid of honor to help minimize her stress level as well.
3. You could also consider appointing each of your bridesmaids as the maid of honor and appoint each with particular wedding task. This could help avoid the one appointed maid of honor from feeling as if she is in charge. This way everyone feels that they contribute equally to your wedding day.
4. Did you ever think of speaking to your trusty wedding planner to help defuse disagreements in order to savour friendships? After all the planner is in charge on the day, and who can get mad at the head honcho? This way the attitudes are not directed toward you.
5. Remind everyone to work as a team - You may handle tasks in different ways, which can be difficult. Use your social skills to keep everyone on the same team. If you have to remind her—in a respectful way—that this is about YOU THE BRIDE!! And everyone should do their part to make it fun!
N'Vogue Occasions specializes in day of coordination and works with brides who have done most, if not all, of the planning for their wedding. They make sure that the wedding day itself runs as smoothly as possible so that their brides can relax and enjoy the day and spend time with their loved ones, without any of their close family and friends having to put in any legwork.