A Little Piece of History // When you don't want to wear your mom's wedding dress

As a bride, you've got to get used to getting pulled in every which way. Your mom wants your wedding flowers to look like this, and your soon-to-be sister-in-law wants your wedding dress to look like this. Your maid of honor wants the bachelorette party here, and two of your bridesmaids want it there.

Before you get too frustrated, just know that the reason this is happening, is because everyone around you loves you and wants your big day to be absolutely perfect. The problem? My idea of perfect is different from theirs. That is not the point of today's post, but just wanted to get that little detail into your head before we move forward.

As many of you know, our blogging calendar is made up of questions from all of our bride readers. And here is one question we've been getting quite a bit:


My mom wants me to wear her dress, but I don't want to.
What do I tell her?

1950's wedding gown

Remember that little tid-bit I told you above? She isn't being selfish and she isn't being mean. She loves you, loves the idea of this tradition, and just wants to see her daughter in a dress that she once believed was the most beautiful gown in the world...her wedding dress. 

The problem?

You may not believe it is the most beautiful dress in the world. Or, you think it is beautiful, but you want the experience of shopping with your girls and finding that gown you've always dreamed of.


The Reason WHY

So what do you do? You've first got to start off by telling her no.

It doesn't have to be a "No, I hate your dress," because that is just rude. But explain to her why you want to purchase your own gown.

You want the experience? It doesn't match the rest of your wedding day? The style just isn't your style? It doesn't flatter your body? It'll cost more money to alter to your liking than it would to purchase a new gown?

Whatever it may be, tell her a reason WHY and be POLITE.


The Alternative

If you don't like the dress as is, have a dress from your mother-in-law AND your mom, or just love the tradition of wearing your mom or grandma's dress but want the best of both worlds, there are some alternatives you can try to keep that tradition.

1. Use her veil instead

I was dying to wear my mom's veil on my wedding day as my mom passed away my sophomore year in college, but unfortunately we couldn't find it before the wedding. But this a great way to use a generational accessory as your something old.

2. Use a piece of her gown

If she is okay with you cutting a piece of the dress apart, you can use it to make your own veil, your garter, or sew a piece into your gown. That way, you still have a beautiful piece of your family history there with you on your wedding day.

3. Wear one to the ceremony, and a new gown to your reception

It is normal for a bride to change her dress from ceremony to reception, so why not wear your mom's gown to your ceremony, and your new gown to the reception? That's definitely giving you the best of both worlds :)

No matter what you decide to do, do what makes YOU happy. Because you don't want any regrets - this day only comes once!