I asked four couples to write down the story of how they first met, but from each of their own perspectives. They weren't allowed to talk to each other about it, or see what each other wrote. And each sent me their story...
Before we go any further, I would like to you choose one of the four adorable couples below. And after reading one and getting the chills (at least I did!), I am sure you'll want to read the rest. And that is fine too :) But make sure you read at least one from beginning to end before you read on. Just click on a photo below to start!
What did you notice about the stories you read? I was actually very surprised at how similar each of their perspectives were about the first time they met - from the exact meal each ordered, to the scents and the sounds they remember. But while the guy's perspective and the girl's perspective were extremely similar in each case, I think we can all agree that there were differences.
While he may have remembered the music playing in the background when they first saw each other, she remembered the way his beard looked. While the big pictures were the same, the tiny details did have slight differences. This does not mean one was right and the other was wrong, but they were just different.
I want you to remember these stories - their similarities and their differences, and apply them to your own life...your own marriage. And if you have to, take a couple minutes to write down your story, and have your fiance write down his story, and compare the two. Not only is it fun to see what the other remembers, but I am sure you will get the chills when you hear how he remembers what you looked like, your scent, and how he felt at the time.
Everyone is different. I know that is a very simple statement, but when it comes to planning a wedding and planning a marriage, we often forget that no matter what, we are different. We grew up in different households, with different families and friends, with a variety of influences on our lives, and no matter how close you may be to each other, you will each view the world from a different pair of eyes. Everything you see, smell, hear, and touch may be seen the same, but will always be interpreted differently.
The Big Picture
So while the "big picture" in both of your lives may be the same, the tiny details along the way are always going to differ. And because of this, conflicts arise. You may not agree on the color of tie the groomsmen should wear or the overlays that will be used on the tables. And you may not agree on the wall colors you want to have in your first home together, or the type of dog you want to get. But just remember, that these are the tiny details that make you, YOU.
The two of you have found each other because of your differences. I don't know about you, but I would not want to marry a clone of myself. I embrace the differences my husband and I have, because that is what makes our relationship so unique...so special.
So as you read the stories above, or begin to write your own, just always remember that the big picture is what matters in the end. Each of the amazing couples featured above, pretty much told the same story of how they met, with different details along the way. And in your own life, the details of planning your wedding are only going to get you to the big picture...your lifelong marriage. So embrace your differences. Understand that you will not agree on the tiny details every time, because that is what makes you so unique. That is why he is madly in love with you.
As long as the two of you have the same "big picture," then just let the details go and have fun with the amazing journey you are now starting together. There is no need to stress over a disagreement about what meal you want to serve your guests. I know that our society puts so much pressure on each of you to have that very Pinterest-Perfect, fairytale wedding. But in five years, are you really going to remember these details? Your wedding day is a celebration of the two of you - two unique human beings coming together into one marriage. And that is all there is to it!