We all know the saying, "Mom knows best" and I can tell you first hand, that this statement is generally (well, always) true. And then we get to a point where we are planning our wedding. Mom is beyond excited that she can hardly contain herself! She has found your dream dress in a matter of days after your fiance pops the question, and dad is paying so he feels that he should be able to invite all of his friends to this party he is throwing.
But as you know, outside influences can be one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding.
A couple of months back, we had a blog post titled "Mom vs. Bride" which was pretty much on the same subject. And every inquiry I have gotten on the subject, I have referred brides to that article. While I may never know if my advice worked or didn't work for some of those brides, I began thinking to myself, "What if mom and dad actually do know best?"
I quickly came to the conclusion that no matter how often we tell ourselves that this is our wedding day and we should be able to have everything we want, we sound like complete brats. I mean come on here - I am trying to prevent all of you from getting the terrible outbreak of "bridezilla" and with my advice, I may even be encouraging this!
Now I will tell you this - I still believe that the advice I gave in my "Mom vs. Bride" post was great advice and can definitely help in many situations where family and friends are being far too overpowering. Believe me, that happens more often than not. And in our society where more and more couples are paying for their own weddings, they should have the choice of a wedding vision, right?
While there is not an exact formula for who should have a say in what, I believe that you should be respectful of everyone who wants to be involved. If there are too many people who want to be involved, then consider yourself blessed. I receive inquiries every day from brides who are upset because their families don't want to participate so before you think that you're stuck in a terrible situation, take a step back to understand that you are very lucky to have so many people that are beyond excited to help you out!
Now I understand that it can be overwhelming and you need to stand your ground so you don't get stressed out. But shoving people away is not the way to do it. Let them know that you have that specific item covered, and "assign" or give some options as to areas of the planning that you may need advice or help with. That way, you will get some items checked off of your to-do list and everyone who wants to be involved will be able to participate, without stepping on your toes.
When it comes to mom and dad, I have come to the conclusion that in reality, they may know best. Now I am not saying that just because dad is paying that he should be inviting all of his friends and leaving no room for yours. And mom definitely should not be making the final call on which dress you choose. In these cases, refer to my "Mom vs. Bride" article. But have you ever taken a step back to look at the true meaning behind the advice you are getting from others? Maybe your friend already got married and is giving you this piece advice because she ran into a problem the exact way you are trying to do it. Or maybe your mom really wants the best for you and in the end, she is just trying to help out!
No matter what you do, take a step back and ask yourself why people are trying to get you to do it their way. And once you figure that out, you can ultimately determine whether the advice is great for you or should be disregarded. In many cases, you're going to find that mom and dad do know what's best for you :)