You Aren't Marrying "The Perfect Man"

Marriage isn't easy. And if anyone ever told you that, then they are lying. Unless, of course, they are just getting back from their honeymoon and haven't had a chance to really experience marriage.

As most of you know, my first daughter was born just three weeks ago and boy does that change marriage and at the same time makes it that much more beautiful. My husband and I have bonded over our little princess in a way that I would never have imagined possible, and I have experienced "the perfect man" each and every day since she came into this world.

Of course, my husband is not actually perfect but there are so many things I've seen him do and say that make me feel, in the moment, that I've married perfection. And then just minutes later, I don't know if I can take it any more. And in these moments of up and down, I've truly realized that there is no such thing as a perfect man.

 Rachel Solomon Photography

Rachel Solomon Photography

So many couples jump into marriage because they believe that they have found perfection in a man or a woman. And I promise, there willbe moments of perfection in your marriage, moments of bliss, and moments of pure joy, peace and happiness. And boy do I love these moments. And then in a split second, it all changes and you no longer remember the man or woman you married. Intimacy slows down, those honeymoon feelings begin to fade, and the little things that make you tick begin to appear in each and every day life.

I am here to beg you -- Please do not search or marry the perfect man. Because he doesn't exist. What I want you to do, is marry the perfect man for you.

If you see perfection in your future spouse, then I would like to think that you are not ready for marriage. If you haven't experienced an argument, haven't seen any habits that you just cannot stand, and haven't once thought "I wish he didn't...." then you are certainly not ready for marriage.

Instead of searching for the perfect man, search for the perfect man FOR YOU. He compliments you and may have a personality that is the complete opposite of you. He may love to chat and you may love to just sit in peace every once in a while and while this may annoy you in the moment, realize that if you both were overly chatty, then you may actually clash more than ever, never able to get all of the words in that you wanted to say. So this man isn't perfect, but he is perfect for you. And if you both were Mr. and Mrs. organized then you may disagree on where things should go and how they should be organized. So instead, Mrs. Organized may actually be a better fit with Mr. Unorganized. It'll annoy you more than ever, but that trait is perfect for you and your marriage.

And I believe that once you realize that you aren't ever going to marry perfection, you may, just may be ready for that commitment in your life. The definition of "perfect" is different for each and every one of us. It is even different than the definition your own spouse holds true. We aren't robots and that is why your perfect imperfections need to mesh well with the perfect imperfections of your spouse. And that is what makes a beautiful imperfect marriage. You aren't marrying perfection, but the perfect man or woman for you.