Written with love, by Pastor Dave Page
I relate to Winston Churchill who said, “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”
I don’t pretend to be an authority on women but I’ve learned there are common needs most women and men bring to a marriage in order to maximize the relationship. Below is my Top 10 List of things wives want from their husbands. It is based on my counseling with couples and personals observations, but the list seems to resonate with many couples. Understanding each others' needs is the first step to meeting them.
10 THINGS WIVES WANT FROM THEIR HUSBANDS
1. LOVE
Unconditional love. Sacrificial love. The Apostle Paul said, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”[1]
2. ATTENTION
Wives want to be listened to and know that what they have to say is important to their spouse. They also want conversation from their spouse.
3. PROTECTION
Wives want their husbands to be the defender of the family. They want their spouses to take ownership in leading the family and teaching their kids how to defend themselves and stay strong in this crazy world.
4. SECURITY + COMMITMENT
Wives want to know that their spouse isn’t going anywhere. Marriage is meant to be for life. She needs to know that her spouse will remain faithful and won’t cheat on her.
5. APPRECIATION/VALUE
Wives want to know that they are beautiful in their husband’s eyes. They want to be valued for who they are as much as for what they do.
6. RESPECT
The Scriptures refer to women as the “weaker vessels.”[2] Of course this doesn’t mean they are less than men, but that men and women are different. It points to the general truth that women are comparatively physically weaker than men. Husbands should never use physical strength to intimidate or harm their wives but rather they should respect their wives.
7. DOMESTIC SUPPORT + PARTNERSHIP
Wives don’t want to do life alone. They want their husband’s participation in raising the kids and in making decisions. They want someone to do life with them, not live two separate lives in the same household.
8. AFFECTION
Psychologist and author Willard F. Hartley Jr. discovered that affection is the #1 need of women. In fact, advice columnist Ann Landers asked her readers if they would be content to forget “the act” if they were cuddled and treated tenderly. More than 100,000 women responded and 72% declared themselves willing to forgo intercourse for affection.
9. ROMANCE
Woo her. Pursue her. Date her. Go out on a regular basis - just the two of you. Getting away from the house one-on-one is so important. Go away with each other for one week each year. My wife and I are leaving for Hawaii later this week for a romantic island getaway.
10. CHOCOLATE
I’m not kidding! Entire books have been written about the subject of women and chocolate cravings, surveys have shown that chocolate is the most craved food among American women, and researchers have found that chocolate can supply nutrients that keep a woman’s hormonal system functioning properly and the brain chemicals in balance. I’ve only met one woman in my life that didn’t like chocolate. My wife is a chocoholic :)
Ladies, does this list resonate with you? Did I leave out an important need that you have? In my next post I’ll address “10 Things Husbands Want From Their Wives.”
Aloha.
____________________________________________
A special thanks to Willard F. Hartley Jr. and his book, His Needs, Her Needs and to Pastor Ron Edmondson and his blog post, “7 of the Greatest Needs of a Wife.”
[1] Ephesians 5:25
[2] 1 Peter 3:7
