I recently met with one of my newly engaged couples for the first time. They booked me for full service coordination, which means that I will be planning their entire wedding with them and helping them with anything and everything throughout the process.
As we were chatting about wedding plans, dreams, and ideas, we got onto the topic of stress. While the groom was not stressed in the slightest, the bride mentioned that she was already overwhelmed and stressed out about everything that needed to be done. And, of course, the first thing I asked was, "Why are you stressed?? You just hired me to plan your entire wedding so all you have to do is show up for the fun stuff!"
Still not convinced that she could just throw out her stress, we chatted more about where this stress comes from and why she was feeling that way.
And I came to a conclusion...
Weddings really aren't stressful.
I know, I know. You're thinking, " Well of course you don't think so, because you're a wedding planner!" Sorry to break it to you, but that really is not why. The reason is because they just aren't stressful.
Now before you get mad and just quit reading my blog, I will tell you that I do understand that PARTS of the wedding can be stressful - the guest list was definitely stressful for me, but not to the extent that I wasn't enjoying planning my wedding.
So let's get to the reasons WHY you think planning a wedding is stressful, and then I can tell you how to overcome that stress.
Why is planning a wedding stressful?
Because society tells you so.
Think about it, every wedding vendor, bridal magazine, blog and human being out there has told you from before you were even engaged that planning a wedding would be stressful, and so, you believe it! And I am sorry, but clearly the name of my blog depicts this as well...so I am in the wrong too!
If everyone in the world were to tell us that the sun wasn't really there, we would all believe that it was just some reflection in the sky.
Because that is how the human mind works.
Is planning a wedding really stressful?
Yes and no. If you tell yourself it will be stressful, then yes, you are going to see the bad in every situation and think, "You know, I expected this!" And if you train your brain from the start to think that a wedding is enjoyable, then you're going to begin believing it.
So which option do you choose?
How to overcome this stress!
1. Train your brain, first and foremost.
2. Just make a decision.
People will tell you that you need a year to plan a wedding...I've planned one in ten days, from engagement to full-blown wedding. And actually, it was easier that way! There was less time for lingering and less time for decisions so it forced the bride and groom to make decisions instead of searching and searching some more.
3. Fix the problem.
If you do run into some REAL stress, don't linger on the problem, but find a way to fix it. Your cousin decides to invite an extra guest. Who cares! Find a way to move your budget around and make it work instead of creating an argument and potentially losing that friendship. Just like in life, just find a way to fix it and be done with it once it's fixed. Don't tell the story over and over to all of your friends that your cousin was rude and invited a guest - because that will just keep the stress in your mind. Forgive and forget.
4. Find the positive in every situation.
A lot easier said than done, but this one is huge! If your DJ is running late to your appointment because of traffic, think about the extra quality time you and your fiance are getting together, sipping on some coffee while your DJ gets there safely.
From the start, train your brain to think positive. The only reason planning a wedding is stressful, is because they told you so. So now I'm telling you so - planning your wedding is fun, exciting, blissful, and NOT stressful.
And just like your wedding, you create the life you want to have. Don't ever forget that.