In order to find all of my followers the best wedding inspiration out there, I am on social media all of the time. I spend hours each day on Instagram and Pinterest and the most common way that I find you all the best inspiration is through hashtags.
Typically, I will search some of the following: #engaged, #weddingplanning, #imengaged, #weregettingmarried, #engagementring, #bridetobe, #diy, #engagementphotos...and the list goes on.
But I've found a huge problem with hashtags and I feel the urgency to bring this to your attention.
Take a look at the screenshots below from a couple of hashtag searches I did today:
You may have noticed that some of the photos seem completely irrelevant to the hashtag or you may have found some photos you want to use for inspiration! But take a closer look at the top right hand corner of each screenshot.
You'll notice that there is a number associated with each hashtag and if you didn't figure it out already, that's the number of photos that include that hashtag all over Instagram. Now let's compare the numbers on the left two photos to the numbers on the right two photos.
#IMengaged = 16,891 vs #WEREengaged = 7,045
#IMgettingmarried = 57,792 vs #WEREgettingmarried = 29,581
I purposely capitalized the words I want you to focus on - "I'm" vs "We're" and when I look at those numbers, it makes me sad.
Getting engaged, planning a wedding, and marriage is about WE and not I. So while it may seem like an insignificant point - a silly hashtag - it truly shows the nature of the wedding industry and starts every marriage off on the wrong foot.
I've got to admit, I do it as well...The Overwhelmed BRIDE...and where is the groom?
The wedding industry teaches each of us that the wedding is about the bride, and the groom shouldn't care about a single details. The groom is almost always forgotten. And while he may not be interested in choosing colors or picking the floral and decor, he is interested in your marriage. If he wasn't, then he never would have popped he question in the first place!
So whether or not he says he cares, believe me, he cares. It may be something as little as the food choices or tasting the cake, or maybe he really cares about the music or a specific scripture he wants read during the ceremony. So no matter what it is, make sure the wedding is about "we" and not "I."
Because starting off a marriage as "I" is already heading in the wrong direction. Each and every day, you'll be making decisions for "we" from this point forward, so start by practicing with your wedding day and I promise, the transition into "we" and into your marriage will be much smoother. Practice makes almost perfect so if you don't start now, you may never get there.
Whether he is there for every wedding appointment or not, put "we" on the front burner and make every decision for the both of you. Now and forever, from this day forward.