A Little Marriage Homework

There is no hidden meaning to the title of this post. Yes, I've got homework for you to do! But don't get scared away too fast - because marriage is hard work! And this is just the beginning :)

When my husband and I were going through pre-marital counseling, we were pretty much eye-to-eye on everything.

Who is going to take care of the dishes? What does a "clean home" mean to you? Will someone stay home to care for the kids? What are your views on finances?

Being eye-to-eye on all of the "tough" questions left us feeling confident after each session and it wasn't until one of the very last sessions that our Pastor asked us a question that left me a little stumped. Well, I guess I just really had to think hard about it!

Why do you want to get married?

 Christopher Todd Studios

Christopher Todd Studios

"Well, because I love him, of course!"

And as those words rolled off of the tip of my tongue, I realized that I had just given a confident, but terrible answer.

I know that you're probably thinking, "No answer is a bad answer." But mine was.

I love my parents and I love my friends. I love my sisters, my grandparents, and even my pets! But does that mean I am going to marry them? Of course not!

Some of you may even have had deep loving relationships with exes, but you didn't marry them either...or maybe you did. So there has to be some other reason for marriage, right?

Are you getting married because your religion says you should?
Are you getting married because your parents have matched you with your spouse?
Are you getting married because that is just how your family has done it for years and years?
Are you getting married because that is what you are "supposed" to do when you fall in love?
Companionship? Babies? Someone to take care of your fiances so you never have to work?
Or because all of your friends are doing it?

People have babies and families and even buy houses together without getting married. People even live long and happy lives, side-by-side with the love of their life and never put a ring on it. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but it is done.

So why are you getting married?

I urge you to sit down with your fiance and discuss why you two are getting married. There are tons of reasons out there that just aren't good enough. Because marriage is hard and love isn't enough.