The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly


That's what The Overwhelmed Bride is all about! We talk about relieving stress or avoiding stress altogether. But have you ever really thought about why you are stressed as you plan this big day? It may stem from the fact that there are just too many items on your to do list, you can't seem to find that perfect dress, or every vendor you love is far over your budget.

There are far too many forms of stress that enter into our bodies and minds as soon as he pops the question. "Everyone is asking when our wedding is and we haven't even discussed a date! Am I already behind before the planning has even started??" Believe me, I was there too! The second you call your friends to share the exciting news, the first question is always, "When is that big day??"

Really?? I said "yes" only a couple minutes ago and the whole world expected me to have my wedding planned!

Are you nervous?

A couple weeks before my wedding day, I remember a conversation I had with my dad on the phone very vividly. He asked me, "Are you stressed? Or nervous at all?" Not thinking much of it, I chuckled and responded, "Of course not! I've got it all under control."

Obviously my dad knows I am a wedding planner so it seemed like such a silly question, one that was just a normal question for anyone to ask me. It came along with the territory of being an almost Mrs. I didn't think much of it...until I heard his response.

"You know, it's a good thing to be a little nervous. Yes this is a wedding and there many things going on. But more importantly, this is a marriage. A marriage is a huge decision so some nervousness would be good for you."

While the conversation didn't go much further, I began thinking about the purpose of this blog and how I am always telling brides to calm down, without realizing that I may actually be in the wrong!

The Origin of Stress

There are two different origins of stress when it comes to planning a wedding:

1. The bad kind of stress: This is the stress that comes from planning a "wedding" rather than a "marriage." If you are stressed about the napkins or the floral or your makeup, then I will continue by telling you to calm down. This is the kind of stress that is bad, that makes you unhappy and that ruins the positive experience that planning a wedding should be!

We worry far too much about what others will think, trying to make our wedding better than any wedding we've ever been to, and are nervous about the "event" or the "party" we are throwing. We stress about something going wrong on that one day. While I know it is overwhelming and you often can't help it, by all means, do whatever you can to contain this type of stress.

2. The good kind of stress: The good kind of stress stems from planning your "marriage" rather than your "wedding." Marriage means the rest of your life. It is a huge decision and although you love this man or woman with all of your heart, there is nothing wrong with a little nervousness when you think about the huge commitment you will be making. This is not just a one day event - it is forever.

Living in a world full of divorce, I think that a little nerves and stress are a good thing. And if you don't feel these feelings, then you may need to do a little thinking about your life and the vows you will soon be taking. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly and while you may know deep down in your heart that he or she is the one, no matter how perfect we are for each other, we will all run into bumps along the way. And no matter how deeply in love we are at this time, we see so many deeply in love couples that don't work out.

Embrace the Nerves

While this may be the craziest thing you've ever heard me say, as it is defying The Overwhelmed Bride's ultimate purpose, I want you to embrace those good nerves and the stress that comes along with your marriage. This is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) commitment you will ever make, so soak it all in and just know that those nerves are what allow you to know that you are taking this seriously. You are thinking about your future. Your life. Embrace it.

So what about the bad stress?

Stay tuned for our very exciting new blog series called "100 Stress Free Tips & 100 Vendors Who Will Get You There" that will start tomorrow!! The series will go over many unique ways (very very unique ways) to handle that bad stress and will feature many of our favorite vendors! Can't wait :)