Just Put the Phone Down

November 3, 2015

In a world full of technology, we feel that we are closer to so many people but in realty, we are pushing ourselves further and further away. As a wedding blogger, I am working all day every day - updates on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram in order to find the best inspiration for all of you, means I am on my phone a lot. And I mean a lot. I do my best to respond to all comments and questions that come my way, and try to respond to every email I receive immediately. The reason for this? I want to ensure I am giving a little inspiration throughout the day, and am always on top of the new trends, tips, and struggles brides-to-be are going through so I can help!

And although there are probably few bloggers reading this, I know that many of you can relate.

You get a new notification and you have to check it immediately. Or you have to scroll through your favorite wedding Instagram account to see what recent photos have been posted from the accounts and friends you follow. And with this, comes distance in a relationship.

Time and time again, I find myself sitting with my phone in my hand, eyes glued to the screen, forgetting that my husband and I are trying to enjoy a movie night at home. And I always think to myself, "Well, we aren't talking anyways since we are watching a movie, so why does it matter if I am on my phone?"

And then he comments on a part of the movie that I totally missed. I thought I was hearing it in the background while posting a new lovely wedding gown on Instagram but clearly, I was mistaken. So yes, it does matter.

So while we can't deny that technology is great at times - we can Facetime our husbands while they are on a work trip, and actually see their faces while we speak with them...crazy! - technology has to be affecting marriages and pushing us further and further away from each other.

And so, let's do our best to put our phones down. If you can't resist the urge, then just turn it off or place it on the other side of the room where you are not going to be able to grab it easily when that text tone goes off. Yes, I know we are never going to be without technology and as long as I am a wedding blogger, and I will continue to be on my social apps throughout the day and throughout the evening. But let's all make a plan to at least enjoy dinner or a movie without the interruption. Because two hours without it is definitely not going to kill us but two hours with it may, in fact, negatively impact the way our marriages turn out.

Do yourself and your marriage a favor, and just live in the moment...the moment of just you and your loved one.

Taming My Tongue in Marriage

October 29, 2015

Written with love, by Pastor Dave Page

Remember when you used to go to the doctor as a kid? What was the first thing he asked? Stick out your tongue. Now, the first thing he asks is, “Do you have insurance?” Ha. Why stick out your tongue? Because the tongue reveals what’s going on inside of you. The tongue is the table of contents for your health. I’d say the tongue is also a good barometer of marital health.

The Power of the Tongue

“The tongue has the power of life and death.”[1]

Fill your mouth with life, not death. Tongues can be weapons of mass destruction and the death of marriages. But people also live because of something said. The tongue can bring life. Tongues can make marriages sweet, families strong, and communities healthy.

My Tongue Directs My Marriage

Where is your marriage headed in the next 5-10 years? Look at your conversation. We shape our words then our words shape us. Words are significant and will direct where our marriage goes.

The tongue is one of the smallest muscles in the body and yet one of the most powerful. A bit in a horse’s mouth can control the horse. A rudder on a large ship can control the ocean liner.

The average American man speaks approximately 7,000 words per day. Care to guess how many words the average American woman speaks? Careful guys! The average American woman speaks approximately 20,000 words per day with gusts up to 25,000 or more.[2] This means on average, women talk three times as much as men.

Sometimes it’s best to say nothing. “He who holds his tongue is wise.”[3]

My Tongue Can Destroy My Marriage

The tongue, like a fire, can destroy an entire forest or city overnight. I wonder how many couples through the careless use of words have destroyed their marriage?

Remember the nursery rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words (names) can never hurt me.” It may be a nice nursery rhyme but it’s not true. Words can wound us. The pain of a word spoken against us can hurt us for a lifetime.

On the other hand, fire under control can bring warmth and light. King Solomon said, “Like golden apples set in silver is a word spoken at the right time.”[4]

Think Before You Speak

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”[5] Thomas Jefferson said, “When you get angry count to 10. When you get really angry count to 100.”

Learn to THINK before you speak. Be wise in your speech to one another.

Here is an acrostic I use:

T = True. Is it true? If so, share it, but share it in love. Speak the truth in love.

H = Help. Will it help my spouse for me to share?

I = Inspiring. Will it build up my spouse or tear them down?

N = Necessary. What if I choose not to say it? Does it really matter?

K = Kind. Is what I’m going to say kind or harsh?

[1] Proverbs 18:21
[2] Louann Brizendine’s research at the University of California
[3] Proverbs 10:19
[4] Proverbs 25:11 (ISV)
[5] James 1:19

Sunday's Most Loved // The Dirty Dishes of My Marriage

October 25, 2015

Today I'm throwing it back to one of the first marriage articles I ever wrote on The Overwhelmed Bride. It was the start of me opening up to help others learn from my own mistakes in my relationship, because we all know that we can learn a little something from each other. And from this, I even helped myself!

Click on the photo below to read the article... Enjoy!