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You're madly in love and the proposal was more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. The wedding plans are well on their way without much of a hitch, and you are just ready for the wedding day to be here!
But have you taken a moment to think about the real purpose of the wedding? You are committing yourself, and your life to this person. You are vowing to stay by their side through thick and thin and with that, comes a whole lot of decisions. You may know each other very well - their lives, favorites, dreams and aspirations - but have you discussed the aspects of every day life that you will soon encounter together?
In my eyes, you just cannot prepare enough for marriage because it is hard work and there will always be ups and downs. But here are some questions to sit down and discuss, to make absolutely sure you are both on the same page before you make this commitment:
How many kids do you want?
If he wants 10 kids and you are not the "baby type," you are probably going to run into some large issues, fights, and arguments within the first couple years of marriage. Are you on the same page?
Do you believe in divorce?
Believe it or not, there are many people out there who believe that divorce is just a way of life - it is inevitable for pretty much everyone, including themselves. Some people believe that marriage may be great for a while but at some point, you'll both want to move on. And if you don't believe in divorce and believe in working hard toward your marriage, on the contrary, then you probably aren't on the same page here!
Do you like my family?
While there are always going to be disagreements between yourself and the in laws, disliking every single one of your fiance's family members could cause some issues. He loves his family and you are going to beg to have all holidays away from them...this may be an ongoing problem in your marriage.
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What are your long term goals?
If your fiance just wants to travel the world for rest of his life and you are ready to settle down, then this may not work out too well. Remember, a happy marriage means that BOTH partners are happy and while compromise is one thing you'll have to learn, long term goals that are on opposite sides of the spectrum are bound to cause hardship.
Are you a saver or a spender?
Yes, there are plenty of marriages that have differing opinions on this matter, so this is where compromise comes into place. Come up with a financial PLAN together before you tie the know. Sit down, create a monthly budget, and make sure you have a great compromise between spending and saving. Finances are one of the leading causes of divorce, so this one is huge!
How often will we have sex?
I know this one may seem silly at the time, but when you are years into your marriage (and even before) one of you may want sex 3 times a day, and the other may be okay with intimacy once a month. And this causes a great amount of grief in every marriage if you aren't on the same page on what is acceptable when it comes to intimacy. So be open and talk about it!
There are so many other questions that should be discussed before marriage and it all depends on the couple. What other questions have you and your fiance discussed that you think are important for other engaged couples to think about?
