The "You deserve to be treated like a princess" Fallacy

Written with love, by Karley Kiker

Like most other 90s babies, I was raised on Disney. Aurora, Belle, Cinderella...from A-Z, if you name a Disney princess I can guarantee you that the movie she stars in has a home in my video cassette collection (yes, I said cassette). 

I loved these stories growing up, so naturally, as a young woman I also loved (and believed) the "you deserve to be treated like a princess" line people are so fond of saying. I deserved to be adored. I deserved to be protected. I deserved to have my needs met. I deserved to be given the best of everything. That all sounded great to me!

Here's the thing, though. Sometimes in my selfishness, my belief in and affinity for that line has led me to forget that my husband is not the hired help. He's not my butler or my carriage driver or my crown polisher or my co-star in the Disney film starring me. He is my husband. My teammate. My partner. My equal. Meaning that even when I'm not getting the treatment I feel that I "deserve" to receive, I'm going to remain committed to loving him. Even if he strings together two non-adoring days in a row. Even if he slips and starts to treat me like the cook. Even then, I'm going to remain constant in my pledge to love and to honor him until death do us part.

I'm still thinking through the influence lines like this have had on me over the years, but here's what I know so far: When I'm wearing my (imaginary) princess crown, I'm basically sitting around waiting to be served by my husband. But when I'm wearing my teammate hat, I'm looking for ways to serve him, too. And with all my heart, I believe it's our daily choice to maintain this kind of you-before-me love that will ultimately lead us to our own happily ever after.