Before you walk down the aisle...what every bride needs to do!

The grandparents have walked down and so have your parents. The groomsmen and bridesmaids have made their way to the altar and the ring bearer and flower girl are currently stealing the show. And now it's your turn...

Your coordinator stands behind you, holding your train and veil and walking you to the big doors to the church, perfectly placing your dress, your hair, and your veil in place as your guests are all asked to stand.

The doors open and it's your time to shine!

While you may think that the next step is to walk down the aisle, I've got different advice.

Rachel Solomon Photography

And so, I am going to tell you what every single bride needs to do before she takes her first step down the aisle...and don't worry, you won't have to remember too much!

1. Your Bouquet

One of my biggest pet peeves - which I absolutely always have bridesmaids and the bride practice at the rehearsal - is holding their bouquet down low. No matter which hand you are holding the bouquet with (or if it's with both hands), your thumb(s) should be right at your belly button.

Why?

Two reasons: The first, is that is keeps your shoulders relaxed. When you're nervous, you begin to raise those shoulders up and it makes you look and feel more nervous! And second, it just doesn't look great in photos to see a head floating on top of a bouquet. Get my drift?

2. Take A Moment for YOU

There are very few times throughout the wedding day when you will be able to take a breath and just take it all in. So this is your moment.

As the doors open, don't start walking quite yet.

Take a breath.

Take a couple breaths.

Look at all of those loving facing looking your way, there to support YOU. Look at your fiance (and almost husband!) at the end of the aisle and take that last moment as fiance in. Breathe, and remember that moment..because after those couple seconds of calm, the night will go by in a flash!

And while taking it all in is the most important reason for pausing for a moment, another added bonus is to give your photographer a couple extra seconds to snap that truly adored shot...or a couple :)

Then when you are ready to go, squeeze your escort's arm and begin your walk into married life! And cherish that moment and that memory forever.

7 Reasons Why You Need to Have A Wedding Rehearsal

I offer wedding rehearsals for every single wedding I coordinate for, whether I planned the entire wedding or not. And while most couples take me up on that offer, there are some who decide against it.

"All of our bridal party has been in at least 5 weddings" is the common reason why people deny a rehearsal, but there are other instances where people are coming from out of town or there just isn't a day that would work for the rehearsal.

And that's okay!

I am not going to tell you that a rehearsal is 100% necessary...because it absolutely isn't. I have done plenty of weddings where I quickly told everyone where they would be standing at the ceremony site right before they headed down the aisle, and everything went without a hitch. But in the cases where you have the ability to hold a rehearsal, I would always recommend it.

And here is why:

The Line Up

Whether you have been in a wedding before or not, every wedding is different. You may have stood in a "V" shape at one wedding and on stairs at another. Or for a church wedding, you may have been sitting for the majority of the wedding in a specific seat assigned to you and the rest of the wedding party.

Jay Dixon Photography

So for that reason, it is always a great idea to give your wedding party a practice run so they know where they will be standing or sitting throughout the ceremony, and where they need to walk so no one is confused.

The bride and groom have got it easy :)

The Pairings

Jay Dixon Photography

Not every wedding party has an equal number of bridesmaids as they do groomsmen. And in these cases, we typically match up two bridesmaids with one groomsman, for example. While it's nice and simple when everyone just pairs up with each other, there are instances where it is still simple, but needs to be brought to everyone's attention so they know WHO they are walking with for both the processional and recessional.

Yes, sometimes it is different! Is a groomsman walking your mom down the aisle and then looping back around into the "groomsmen processional"? There are so many ways to run a ceremony and every ceremony it slightly different in that way!

The Maid of Honor Duties

I give the maid of honor 3 duties:

1. Take the bouquet from the bride once she gets down the aisle.
2. Make the bride's dress look pretty for the duration of the ceremony.
3. Give the bride back her bouquet (because she will forget) before she starts her recessional!

Yes, I could tell the Maid of Honor these "duties" the day of the wedding, but I believe it's best to tell her when there are less jitters in her system.

Pre-Wedding Jitters

Speaking of jitters...

On the day of the rehearsal, everyone is excited. But it is a relaxed excitement. And on the day of the wedding, everyone has more of a jittery excitement. The wedding party is smiling and giggly and talkative and doesn't really want to listen to what I have to say...and I don't blame them! They want to hurry up and get their best friend married!

So it is much easier to explain to everyone what to do and when to do it, when there are less jitters in their system.

The Little Ones

What about your flower girl and ring bearer? It's always best to practice with them beforehand (and then again on the wedding day) so they know where they are walking and where they can find their parents to sit for the rest of the ceremony, once (or if) they make it down the aisle!

The Photos

And on top of that? If something is practiced just once or twice the day or week before, everyone is more likely to look comfortable and natural up there - just as you want them :)

Jay Dixon Photography

Pre-Wedding Reminders

At the end of every rehearsal, I group everyone together (parents included) and go over some important details:

1. I give out my cell phone number. And the #1 rule is: DO NOT CALL THE BRIDE OR GROOM ON THE WEDDING DAY. No texting, emailing, and no ifs ands or buts. If you forget something, your dog eats your tux, or you are stranded on the side of the freeway, call ME. If you don't have a coordinator, select your Maid of Honor or a bridesmaid for this duty. I promise, you'll thank me!

2. What time do you need to be there on the wedding day? For some reason, I ask this question every time and there is always silence among everyone...including the bride and groom. And so, I remind everyone - the groomsmen need to be here at this time, the bridesmaids need to be here at this time, and the parents need to be here at this time.

A rehearsal really only takes about 10 minutes total (I leave an hour because everyone will ALWAYS be late!) so if it means you feel comfortable up there, then 10 minutes is well worth your time!

At the end of every rehearsal, I group everyone together. And I go over some important details:

Your Ceremony Rehearsal

While all of you know that I would highly recommend hiring a coordinator, you may or may not have the
convenience of having your coordinator to run your rehearsal! And a rehearsal is 100% needed, whether it be at the actual ceremony site or in a parking lot near your house! In order for everything to run smoothly and exactly how you want it, it can't hurt to let everyone know where they're standing and what they're supposed to be doing! So if you are going to be running your rehearsal or just need to know what order to place everyone for your coordinator's reference, I am going to take you through that every step of the way!
 
A couple of tips to remind everyone before starting:

1. DO NOT lock your knees - Long story short, this can cause you to faint. So yes, you can straighten your legs during the ceremony but just make sure your wedding party knows to at least bend your knees and not keep them locked for the duration of the ceremony. 
2. Groomsmen need to leave the sunglasses behind - Of course this is up to you and what you would like your photos to look like, but if you don't want them to wear them, tell them at the rehearsal. 
3. Bridesmaids hold two hands on your bouquet and keep your thumbs at your belly button - For some reason, we tend to bring our shoulders up and raise our bouquets which does not make for flattering photos...floating head anyone??
4. And finally, what time and where are they going to be meeting on the day of the wedding?? - Make sure you drill this into their heads because there is nothing worse than a missing groomsman half an hour before your ceremony starts!

Alright, so now that we've gotten those important tid-bits out of the way, first start by lining everyone up the way you would like them to stand at your ceremony. 

Now we have everyone lined up so they all know where they will be standing during the ceremony. Make sure
the guys are all standing at a 45 degree angle facing inward toward the girls, and the girls are standing at a 45 degree angle facing the guys. Most likely, your bridesmaids will already be doing this before you tell them to and you will have to spend about 10 minutes making sure the guys look perfect, but that is beside the point ;)
         
Guys: Hands held in front of you - right hand grabbing the left wrist and a fisted left hand. You can tell them to put their hands behind their backs, in their pockets, or down to their sides but make sure you specify so
it looks uniform.      
Ladies: Bouquet held with two hands and thumb at your belly button.
Maid of Honor: Holding the bride's bouquet as soon as she is handed off to her soon-to-be husband and don't forget to give it back to her once she is pronounced a wife! She CANNOT walk down that aisle without that bouquet! Sound good?
Best Man: You are in charge of the rings...not the ring bearer! Yes, he will want to hold the rings so give him fake rings to carry own the aisle :)
Flower Girl and Ring Bearer: Now, what I generally suggest is to have them walk down the aisle and have their parents conveniently sitting in the first couple of rows on an end seat so they can sit
with them throughout the ceremony. What 3-year-old is going to be able to stand through even a 20 minute ceremony? I have yet to find one! In this case, they will not take part in the recessional at the end of the ceremony. If you would like them to stand up with the rest of the wedding party, they can either stand on the ends (as shown above) or in between the Maid of Honor and Bridesmaid 2/Best Man and Groomsman 2.
Bride and Groom: You have it easy - just do what  the officiant tells you to do. He will take you step-by-step through the ceremony. "Now face each other and hold hands." "Please face me." "You may now kiss your
bride." :) ....and if you didn't know already, that last one is your cue that the ceremony is coming to a close and you are now a Mrs.!!! Crazy, huh?
 
We made it through the hard part! Woohoo!! And no, I have not forgotten about your parents and grandparents. They get this stuff a lot more quickly than the rest of the bunch so we're
saving them for last!

Now it is time to show your bridal party what to do for the recessional. And this is super easy - all you
have to say is "Follow the leader." 

THE RECESSIONAL

Here is the order in which everyone will walk (men making a fist with their right hand and holding the fist at their hip bone, ladies holding the bouquet in their right hand with their thumb at their belly button and linking onto their corresponding man's arm)
 
Bride and Groom
Maid of Honor and Best Man 
Bridesmaid 2 and Groomsman 2
Bridesmaid 3 and Groomsman 3
Bridesmaid 4 and Groomsman 4
Flower Girl and Ring Bearer (if they stood at the ceremony)
Bride's Father and Mother
Groom's Father and Mother
Bride's Grandparents
Groom's Grandparents
Officiant

THE PROCESSIONAL

Alright so now that we made
it through that, the recessional will be a breeze! Now there are many ways
to do your processional but I will demonstrate one where the guys and girls will
be walking alone. So here is the order (which depends on how you are formatting
it, but just one example!)



Officiant
Groom's Grandparents
Bride's Grandparents
Groom's Parents
Bride's Mom with Escort

(all men walk around the side of the ceremony site, not down the aisle)
Groom
Best Man
Groomsman 2
Groomsman 3
Groomsman 4

Bridesmaid 4
Bridesmaid 3
Bridesmaid 2
Maid of Honor

Flower Girl & Ring Bearer (generally walk together if they are young)

Bride and her Father (or whoever will be walking her down the aisle)

Now, there are so many ways you can do this and there really is not right or wrong way. Some variations
include:
 
    - Groomsmen walking in before parents and grandparent
    - Groomsmen escorting bridesmaids to their places (exact opposite of recessional order)
    - Various religions have different processional and recessional orders
 
No matter what, it is your ceremony and you may set the order however you would like! 

Now it does get a little complicated when you get into step parents but just remember, great grandparents
first, grandparents next, parents next and always have the groom's family go first in comparison to the bride's (ie groom parents then bride parents). 

*If you are part of the groom's family, the woman will walk on the right side and if you are part of the bride's family, the woman will be on the left of the man.
 **The Bride's side is the left (if you are facing the altar) and the Groom's side is on the right! But in my eyes, we are all family at this point so who cares :)

I know I just swarmed you with a ton of information but if worse comes to worse, make it up and stick to your plan! Email me if you have any specific questions and I would be glad to put together your processional and recessional orders for you! Until next time!!