Written with love, by Felicia Zammit-McMann
My husband and I just celebrated our third wedding anniversary. There will always be a part of me that has my wedding day seared into my mind so deeply that just a mere look at certain flowers, a smell of perfume or listening to a song that was played during our reception will take me directly back to that day in an instant. It really is my happy place. When the world is driving me crazy, I think of that day and immediately lose track of what was bothering me.
Funny how time puts things into perspective. There were times leading up to the wedding that got me so stressed, that I could not wait to say “I do” just to know that all the planning was over with. Despite all the stress, I was not a “Bridezilla.” My husband thinks I was because I had to reprint our wedding invites because I accidentally spelled the name of our church wrong and because the bows on our favor boxes had to be tied a certain way so that they were straight. That’s not being a “Bridezilla,” that’s being a perfectionist (Type A, anal, detail-oriented … whatever you want to call it).
We all know “Bridezillas” are mean! They are the ones that put the wedding before the marriage. They stress themselves out to no end because their wedding has to be bigger and better than any other one they’ve ever been to. They are the ones that yell at everyone until they get their way.
Lately, however, I’ve noticed brides seem to be becoming less stressed about the pomp and circumstance and more focused on the big picture. That at the end of the day, you are marrying your best friend.
I thought it was just me, but then I read an article on Facebook from the Huffington Post, talking about that very subject and coining a new term: the “Bride-Chill-A.” I like that ter … a lot! Looking back, I think I was a “Bride-Chill-A.” I got stressed over silly things like should we hand write or type the mailing addresses on our invites, how the napkins should be folded at the table, why a certain relative is making me send an invite to someone who is clearly a “plus one” – you know, silly things. But I was really calm and very excited throughout the whole process. I NEVER yelled at any of my vendors because you just don’t act that way. Period! I knew at the end of the day, I was getting married and this was probably going to be the one and only time all our family, friends and loved ones from around the country were going to be in the same place, at the same time.
I learned, from my early and short time doing theater in school, that if something goes wrong, pretend it was meant to happen. The audience won’t know the difference. I’ll never forget when we were showed our reception room, I noticed that there were no flowers on the cake, and there should have been. I just mentioned to our coordinator at our venue that was showing us around that there were supposed to be flowers on the cake. The staff went running like crazy to fix it and I chuckled to myself a bit because I thought “Oh, no, they think I’m one of THOSE brides!” We left the room and when we came back there were flowers. They weren’t in the right spot, but our guests wouldn’t have any idea. It was our little secret.
Now, my best friend is getting married. She totally fits the bill of “Bride-Chill-A.” She’s not obsessing over details because all she wants to do is marry her true love. She wants her guests to have a good time, be comfortable and have fun. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?
How many of you consider yourself a “Bride-Chill-A?”