Will a backyard wedding save me money?

As we all know, the reality is that weddings are EXPENSIVE. We often spend more on our weddings than on a house down payment. Seems silly, right?

Well first, I want to let you know that no matter your wedding budget, you are going to have an amazing wedding! I have worked with brides with just $2000 to spend on their weddings and other brides who don't even have a budget set.

Now, will a budget in place we are all looking for ways to save. And most brides in the beginning think, "If I were to have a backyard wedding, I would surely be able to save!" And I am here to show you how that is 100% not the case. Yes, I am sure it has been done before, but 99% of the time a backyard wedding is actually going to cost you MORE than a venue, let alone the hassle!

It's A Hassle

Don't get me wrong, backyard weddings are beautiful and incredibly sentimental, but definitely not my favorite when it comes to everything that is involved. Here are just a few things you have to do at a backyard wedding that you wouldn't at a venue:
- Purchase your alcohol and know how much to buy
- Hire bartenders
- Hire banquet staff
- Rent tables and chairs AND set them all up!
- Rent silverware, glassware, and dinnerware
- Clean the house beforehand AND manicure the yard
- Rent and set up ceremony site chairs
- Rent the speaker system/microphones
- Make sure there is electricity set up outside
- Rent the dance floor
- Pick up trash at the end of the night
- Clean all dishes and box them up
- Break down all rental items and pack up
- Outside lighting
- ...and the list goes on!

If you are thinking of having a backyard wedding, just make sure you have someone hired to do all of this...we don't need your beautiful bridesmaids picking up trash and cleaning dishes hours after the wedding concludes!

THE COST

Now, you would think that you may be able to save a ton of money on this backyard wedding because you won't have to worry about that $2,000 site fee! Well let's think about this for a moment...first of all, not all venues have a site fee if you are using their catering so search for these sites first AND are you really going to be able to rent everything for just $2,000??

Let's take a look at just some of the items you will need and I will show you how quickly this will add up. We are going to use the lowest end costs for these items and pretend you have 100 guests coming to the wedding, for purposes of this example. So keep in mind, this is the low end!!

Tables: $30 per table x 10 tables (10 people per table) = $300
Chairs: $3 per chair (not chivaris) x 100 people (must use for ceremony and reception) = $300
Delivery Fee: $150 total (if they are all from the same company)
Linens: $10 x 10 tables = $100
Napkins: $1 x 100 people = $100
Silverware Set: $3 x 100 people = $300
Glassware (wine, water, bar): $2 x 300 items = $600
Dance Floor: $500 (not including set-up and tear down)
Lighting: $500 (very basic lighting)
Bathrooms: $70 x 3 = $210 (doesn't include cleaning or delivery)

Now let's stop right here. I think we have enough for now and just remember that there will be other items that we haven't listed here!

Our total so far is $3,060. And with a 7.5% tax our total is now at $3,289.50.
Remember that $2,000 venue rental fee we were worried about? Now this $3,289.50 does not include gratuity, is the low range cost of rental items, and is only for 100 guests. I think you are getting the picture! Now don't get me wrong, backyard weddings can be absolutely beautiful if that is what your vision is. But I assure you, you are NOT going to save money on a backyard wedding so if this isn't your vision, they steer clear!

Mom vs Bride

Are you feeling overwhelmed by all of the wedding planning? Is it because you have so much to do? Or because others want to be involved and make decisions, but you cannot stand his or her taste?? Oftentimes, it is the latter and most often it is a difference in opinion between the bride and her mother.

Isn't that just the worst? This is supposed to be the most amazing experience in your life thus far and all you and your mother can do are bicker about which dress flatters your figure more, or which venue is more beautiful, or what the overall theme of the wedding should be! You want a rustic-style wedding but your mother thinks that your big day should be no other than a formal, traditional event. Ughh! No fun at all and this stresses you out even more than you were already stressed by your to-do list!

Lorusso Studios

So what are you supposed to do?

Well, since my mother unfortunately was not able to be there for my big day, I cannot give you any advice from personal experience. I can, however, offer advice that I have given to many of my past brides all in the same situation, and hope that it will work for you too! We can only hope!

First off, it is the most difficult (and generally the situation) when your mother is the one paying for your wedding. Every bride comes to me and says, "My mom is not going to pay unless she gets her way!" While she may have told you that (and that is a different story), most of you are over-exaggerating the situation because you are stressed out! If your mom wants you to have a formal, traditional wedding THAT BAD, then why would she prefer you to have no wedding at all?  In most cases, you are over-thinking this.

Let's take a moment and step into your mother's shoes...her baby girl is getting married and she wants this day to be absolutely spectacular and one that no one will ever forget! This day has to be perfect in every way! And let's think back to when she got married, the most spectacular weddings were those that were very formal and traditional so you can't blame her to think that in order for yours to be spectacular, it has to be that same type of wedding! Really, she wants the best for you and she is not out to get you, so please just remember that first!

So here is what we are going to do:

Step 1: Sit down with your mom and tell her (very calmly) how you are feeling. In many cases, she is so wrapped into the planning of the wedding and you are hiding your emotions so much that she had no idea you disagreed or wanted something completely different! "Well why didn't you say that in the first place!" If you don't tell her, chances are she didn't even know!

Step 2: If she was aware that you had differing opinions, explain to her why you want the wedding the way you want it. Maybe your fiance comes from a different cultural background and you want to combine the cultures. Or maybe that is just your taste! But you need to explain why you want it how you want it.

Step 3: Ask your mom why she wants it the way she wants it. Why is it so imperative that she have it her way? I can take a guess what the answer is going to be..."I just want this day to be perfect for you and that is my vision of a perfect wedding!"

Step 4: Come to an agreement - "Mom, I know that you really want me to have a traditional wedding but that is really not me. How about we incorporate some traditional aspects into my wedding vision. Although I will not be getting married in a church, I would love to participate in communion during our ceremony. And I would love to have a traditional white gown with a long veil."

 Obviously, these 4 steps are not going to work every time. But a majority of the time, they are going to end at step 1 and everything will be resolved. If worse comes to worse, just remember that you want to make your mom happy and proud just as much as she wants to make you happy. So find a good balance and just be open with her! If you don't tell her what you're thinking, she will never know! Always stay calm, collected, and respectful because I assure you, she does have good intentions.

Happy planning!!

Reserving Hotel Rooms for Guests

For our wedding, everyone was coming from out of town. While a majority of my family and friends flew in town for the weekend, everyone had to at least drive a couple of hours. So having guest reservations was a must for us! And even if everyone is from in town, I would highly recommend setting up room blocks for those who want to stay...for those partying a little too hard the night ;)

First of all, I recommend setting up room blocks with two hotels...more than two overwhelms your guests, believe it or not, and it is fun for them to be altogether! The hotels you choose should have the following:
   - Have one higher priced and one lower priced hotel to cater to all of your guests
   - Shuttles! If possible, choose hotels that will provide shuttles to and from the wedding!
   - Proximity to your wedding site. Don't choose hotels that are 2 hours from your wedding, no matter how nice they are! You can generally find a hotel within 10 minutes of your wedding and walking distance is even better!

When setting up room blocks with a hotel, there are different ways you can set it up:

1. Reserve the rooms - This means that you will have to enter into a contract with the hotel and guarantee a certain number of rooms will be booked by guests. If that number is not reached, then you will have to pay for the remainder of the rooms. The positive to doing it this way is that your rooms will not sell out because they are reserved for you and only you!
2. Room rates only - Yes, you can get special room rates even at hotels you are not getting married at just by asking! Some will provide a link and some will put the reservation under your name. In this case, hotels may potentially sell out, even before your guests have reserved their rooms. However, if no one stays there, you don't owe the hotel anything!

So there are pros and cons to the different hotel room blocks, so just make sure you do what is going to work best for you and your guests. Traveling to a wedding is costly for your guests so make it as simple as possible as you can :)