MARRIAGE | 3 Benefits of Listening to Your Wife

Written with love, by Dave Page

We landed in Hilo on the big Island of Hawaii. We were beginning the second week of our honeymoon. My wife kept commenting on all the ripped guys she saw walking around the airport. “What are you talking about,” I asked. “Everyone here seems to have chiseled bodies. Something special must be going on,” she replied. “No way, these are just normal looking people,” I said. I couldn’t fathom why she was looking at other guys on our honeymoon.

We were both athletes ourselves. I played basketball in high school and college and she played volleyball and soccer. I worked extremely hard to get into shape for our wedding day so I felt a bit self-conscious when my beautiful new wife continued to make comments about all the hard bodies, both men and women, she saw in the airport.

I thought I was in pretty good shape but when I stopped long enough to actually look at the people around us I observed men and women with unusually lean muscle mass, low body fat and a “ripped” look. “What’s going on here?” I asked one of the guys standing next to me. “This weekend is the Ironman Triathlon,” he replied.

No wonder.  I felt like a fool. I learned an important lesson that day that has served me well in my marriage over the years.  Listen to your wife. She was right and I was wrong. It’s hard for us guys to admit when we’re wrong. I had to admit I was wrong.

Marriage Blog - Marriage Advice - 3 Benefits of Listening to Your Wife


Below are three reasons why we should listen to our wives:


  1. Listening to her perspective helps you see each situation with more clarity.

My wife sees things I don’t see. I have blind spots and don’t want to admit certain things even when they are in plain view. Women tend to pay attention to detail, are considerate to the feelings of those around them and have great discernment. My wife’s perspective adds richness, insight and depth to my perspective.


  1. Listening to your wife will increase your wisdom.

The book of Proverbs discusses the differences between a wise person and a “fool.” One of the chief differences is a willingness to listen. When you listen to your wife, you’re honoring her, honoring your Creator and also growing in your wisdom. I’ve discovered that my wife has my best interests in mind. When you disregard her, you’re acting like a fool.


  1. Listening shows your love for her.

When you truly listen, you’re communicating your love and respect to your wife. It results in helping you grow closer to each other. Most women have a need for meaningful communication that is every bit as powerful as the typical man’s need for sex. Improve your love life by listening to your wife. It’s an investment that pays big dividends.

My wife and I watched the beginning of the Ironman Triathlon together the next morning and saw the final runners cross the finish line later that evening. A special memory we will cherish forever.

Learning to Love the Stranger That is Your Spouse

Written with love, by Pastor Dave Page

I said “I do” when I married my wife, but truth be told, I really didn’t know what I was doing.  Did I love her with all my heart? I did.  Did we have a memorable honeymoon? Superb.  Did I know her very well? I thought I did but I really didn’t.  When you first fall in love you think you love the person but you don’t really. You can’t know the person right away. That is a process that takes years. You actually love the idea of the person, which at first is one-dimensional and much mistaken. You quickly learn that marriage brings you into more intense proximity to another human being than any other relationship can. This can be exhilarating while at the same time unnerving. 

marriage advice - Learning to Love the Stranger That is Your Spouse

Over the years you will go through seasons in which you have to learn to love a person you didn’t marry who is something of a stranger. You will need to make changes that you don’t want to make and so will your spouse. 

Duke University Ethics professor Stanley Hauerwas said:

“We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or even if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she will change. For marriage, being the enormous thing it is, means we are not the same person after we have entered it. The primary challenge of marriage is learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married.”

Marriage profoundly changes us.  Marriage brings out and reveals traits in you that were there all along but were hidden from everyone including you, but now they are seen by your spouse. In marriage you are exposed. Your mask is removed.  Pastor Tim Keller said, “Marriage does not so much bring you into confrontation with your spouse as confront you with yourself.” That certainly is my experience.

At some point you realize it’s time to grow up, time to change, time to forgive.  Ruth Graham said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”  The fact is, both spouses come into the marriage as broken people.  Pastor Bill Hybels said, “Consider the math of marriage: One sinner plus another sinner equals two sinners. Double trouble under one roof. Add a couple sinnerlings and we’re talking quadruple trouble under that same single roof.” 

As a person of faith I believe in a God of grace. As I receive his grace in my life I am able to extend that grace to my wife.  The key is to hang in there long enough, through the seasons of marriage, to become compatible with the stranger that is your spouse.  Incompatibility in marriage is really immaturity and selfishness. Mature couples value differences and grow, learning what real love really is.