The Arsenal of Insults

Today's article would typically be written by our fabulous marriage contributor, Pastor Dave Page, but over the past couple of weeks, he has had an illness in the family that he is attending to. So before you begin reading I would like each of you to send your best thoughts, prayers, or whatever you believe will help he and his family during this time. Thank you!

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Think about the last time you had a fight with your boyfriend, fiance, husband or wife. Remember what you were thinking and what was blurted out without any thought.

Something mean I'm guessing? Something that wasn't true? And most likely, something very hurtful.

Now think about your last fight with a friend. It was probably very petty, not much was said and the insults were minor, enough to not even remember what was said even an hour later.

It is strange that the more we love someone, the more we are able and willing to put them down when it comes time for an argument. Have you ever thought about this before?

It's not that you have more anger toward them, or that you think more negatively about him or her as a person, but here it is...

You know everything about them!

You know their strengths, and you know their weaknesses - and you know each and every detail about what makes them happy, sad, and what makes them tick!

So when it comes time for an argument, you're able to hurt those the most, that you know the most. It's sad but it's just our nature. It's our nature to insult when we're angry and the more we know, the worse the insult. We know about past fights, past arguments, and everything that will make our husbands break.

And once those little words float past your lips and into the ears of the one you love the most, they're stuck there is his or her brain for life. And those insults will never be forgotten.

So next time you're arguing, just think before you speak (yes, I know you're been hearing that since you were two years old). If you have to take a moment to breathe or to process what you are saying before it leaves your brain, then take that moment. Because the next insult that will come out of your mouth will surely hit the spot right where you wanted it, and will remain there for eternity.

Let's keep arguments to their core and leave out all of the unnecessary drama. Easier said than done...MUCH easier said than done.

Those you love the most, have the potential to be hurt the most by you. And that's just part of love.

The Power of Touch

Do you remember when you were first dating your fiance or husband, and you would get those little butterflies in your stomach every time you hugged, every time you kissed, and every time you touched? I loved that feeling and still get it every once in a while, but have noticed that as the days, the weeks, and the months go on, we have begun to get far less giddy than when we were first dating.

Of course, this has a lot to do with lust and those endorphins from the mere having something, someone new in your life. But as we continue to grow in our marriages, we always need to remember that power of touch, and make sure we touch each other each and every day.

A couple of years back, I read the most incredible story and while I was not married or even engaged yet, I recently began thinking about this story recently, and how touch can truly bring a marriage closer.

No words, just touch.

So I would like you to each read this story, because it has truly impacted my views on marriage and what is most important. And I think it is a great lesson for all of you as well.

I've read and seen story after story, about pre-mature babies "making it" because of skin to skin contact with their mothers. Or even still born babies who miraculously get their heartbeat back because of the power of touch.

So think about these stories each and every day of your marriage, and apply them - grab his muscles, grab his head when you kiss, just hug, snuggle, hold hands, grab her waist. Whatever it is, you'll begin to see how magical touch truly is in your marriage and it will bring you far closer than you had ever imagined.

The magic of touch.

5 Elements For A Successful Proposal

Written with love, by Pastor Dave Page

Asking for a woman's hand in marriage is one of the most important things a man will ever do in his life. Therefore, a good deal of thought and planning should go into the event. After you're certain that she is the one for you, go ahead and ask for her father's blessing before your propose. After the blessing is secured, you are ready to ask for the hand of your future wife.

I believe there are five key elements for a successful proposal:

1. Proposals should create a cherished memory.

This is a magical and memorable moment, which will be told and retold over the years to your family and friends, children, and grandchildren. Make it a story worth telling. Make it a memory worth remembering.

2. Proposals should be planned out.

Come up with a plan that shows how much she means to you and that you've thought it through. Frankly, I'm shocked to hear some proposal stories where little or not planning took place. Choosing a beautiful venue that creates a romantic atmosphere to pop the question can be a real plus. Or choose a place that already is near and dear to the two of you. However, be prepared for the unexpected. I've discovered that many times proposals don't turn out as planned.

3. Proposals should be unique.

Don't copy someone else's idea. Come up with your own unique proposal idea. Think outside the box. Remember that every woman is different so make your proposal specific to her taste and personality. Some women would love nothing more than to have their friends and family witness the event, while others would prefer a private and intimate setting with you alone.

4. Proposals should utilize the element of surprise.

Making the proposal unpredictable adds to the excitement. Utilizing the element of surprise heightens the experience and makes it fun! In my next post, I'll share how I proposed to my wife. Needless to say, she was so surprised that she was speechless!

5. Proposals should denote surrender, honor, and respect.

There is no more immediately recognizable romantic gesture than when a man proposed marriage down on one bent knee. his custom has been around for centuries and is still hugely popular today.

Most women find it appealing for a man to propose on one knee. The message behind the gesture can be that the man is offering himself wholeheartedly (surrender) to the woman, elevating her to an exalted position (honor) in the relationship, and offering her the choice (respect) to determine the course of their relationship.

Burning Love

I recently had the privilege of marrying Nick and Holly Candy. Nick implemented all five elements listed above when he proposed to Holly. Nick, a British Luxury Property Developer, flew Holly Valance, an Australian singer/actress who played a diva in Taken with Liam Neeson, to the Maldives, an island in the Indian Ocean. He proposed on a beach in spectacular style by getting down on one knee as the words, "Will you marry me?" lit up a fiery display behind him. A delighted Holly posted a picture of the proposal on Twitter and wrote, "And I said YES! Happiest day of my life!!!"

I began their wedding ceremony by saying, "Nick, today is the culmination of that day nearly a year ago when you took Holly to the Maldives and got down on one knee and lit up the sky with the fiery words, "Will you marry me?"

"And here we are. It reminds me of the words of King Solomon who said, 'Love burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly despised.'[1] Why? Because love cannot be bought nor sold - it's priceless. It's a love like this that brings us here today."

This proposal may seem extreme to you, but if it fits Nick and Holly.

Now I would love to hear how your fiance or husband proposed to you (COMMENT BELOW) and I cannot wait to share in my next post how I proposed to my wife.

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[1] Song of Solomon 8:6-7