Should Eloping Be Frowned Upon?

We all live very busy lives, and adding wedding planning into the mix doesn’t always jive well...unless your name is Raquel, in which case you will always have time for weddings! We realize that with different couples there are different circumstances and this can affect the style of the wedding. There can be a lot of details to think about while planning your wedding, that’s why you’re here with us now isn’t it? To figure this whole wedding planning thing and straighten out the details, right? Well, regardless of whether there are 500 guests 30 guests, there is the food, the music, the photos, the flowers, the dresses and so much much more! And what if there are only two people - the bride and the groom? What if the couple wants to elope? What if you want to eliminate all the costs, all guests, and just spend your wedding day with the one who matters most to you? Well, to that I say, go right on ahead! Elope!

There is nothing wrong with eloping! Some couples just don’t want to deal with all the craziness that can be created while making sure nothing is forgotten in the planning stages. I can actually think of a few couples in my circle of friends and family who have eloped. Now, when I say eloped, a couple different interpretations come to mind: secretly running away in the middle of the night to marry the man of your dreams or just the small ceremony in the courthouse with your best friends . I kind of think that if a couple whisks away in the middle of the night to get married it adds a certain dreaminess to the whole scenario! But, I’m sure there is a lot of explaining to do in the morning! Hehe!

The wedding day has been exaggerated to the extent where brides are spending up to hundreds of thousands of dollars on their wedding day. Then, there is the opposite side of things where the bride and groom spend money on the marriage license, head over to the justice of the peace and then go to a nice dinner at their favorite restaurant afterwards. In my opinion, a wedding is a wedding and both scenarios count. We have to remember what the whole point of a wedding is this: to marry the man or woman of your dreams! If that involves everyone that you have ever encountered in your entire life or just the man or woman of your dreams, it’s a successful wedding day! Each couple is different and each couple has their own style, along with their own circumstances that affect how the wedding day pans out.

There are many factors that determine whether or not a couple will elope...

Budget: This is one of the biggest reasons why I feel many couples choose to elope. I’m not even engaged yet and my boyfriend has said to me that we’ll just elope! Now, I love weddings to their finest detail and would love an extravagant day to celebrate (all who know me know this is true, it’s quite sad how obsessed I am) but the reality of things is that weddings are expensive!

There are some couples who check out some loans or credit cards for their wedding day, and there are others who pay out of their savings. I don’t plan on going into debt, so what I have in my savings and what will be used for the wedding. So, as you can see, I will have a pretty small wedding! Which is fine! Weddings are special events that just mean celebrating the love that you and your future spouse share together. So, if you want to have just your groom and your best friend present then that’s great! That’s intimate and will make your wedding day special. Why will it make it special? Because it will be the wedding day that you and your groom want. That’s what’s important here. The ultimate goal of a wedding day that I spoke of get married to the one you love!  

Other couples feel that instead of draining their savings account (like future me, meh.) or going into debt, they will use the money that would have gone towards a wedding and put that towards the down payment of a house, or towards starting a business, or starting a family! So, they would choose to have a small wedding ceremony of close family and a few friends and then invest the money into their future life together. Then later on down the road, you can have a big party with everyone, maybe renew your vows too!

Another reason that couples might choose to elope is to avoid drama. Sticky situations with families, second marriages, kids, or even job situations might be playing into this decision. If a couple has lived with each other beforehand, been married before, has to switched jobs and move, or anything else that might cause stress related to planning a big wedding ceremony and reception then it might suit the couple better to just keep it small and (hopefully!)drama-free.

Eloping used to be something that people would look down on, something done in secret. But in our world today it can be a practical response to what life throws at a couple. Don’t get me wrong here, I loooove weddings so I am all for a couple celebrating with everyone right then and there but that isn’t everyone’s style or available to everyone.

Some things to keep in mind when planning an elopement:

1. Remember who you might want to share the experience of getting married with. Your parents or grandparents? Your siblings? Your best friends? What about the groom’s side? Mentors? If the list starts to grow, and you can’t think of not spending this precious day with them, maybe eloping isn’t for you. There might be some people in your life who will be hurt if they aren’t involved in your wedding day. I know it’s your day but they might be dreaming of your special wedding day as well. Just think about it first, make sure this is what you want, it shouldn’t be a spur of the moment decision.

2. Check out some venues near you, some have nice packages for eloping. I know of a place near me who offers a “Wedding for Two”, complete with a romantic breakfast in the morning. What a sweet idea, huh?

3. Just because the wedding might be small, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep the memories forever! Don’t forget to hire a photographer so you can look back and remember the day for years to come :)

4.  Will you wear a wedding dress? Will you carry flowers? Where do you get your marriage license? Are there any traditions you want to incorporate? Hiring a wedding planner can still make the whole process smoother by organizing and helping you along the way.

A wedding doesn’t dictate the marriage. Whether it is only you and your love or you, your love and everyone you’ve ever met, your marriage will be successful if the two of you are happy together. At the end of the day, if your're married then I’d say it ended well.