Your Hill to Die On

I just love fighting with my husband!

...said no one ever. And while the bickering and the arguments are not fun, they are healthy. They prove that you are in this relationship, in this marriage for a reason. Disagreements prove that your marriage is worth fighting for and that although you may disagree on certain subjects, that you are willing to fight to stay together. You are willing to fight for a lifetime of happiness together.

A Quick Word On Counseling

For those of you who are engaged, I would highly recommend marriage counseling before the wedding. I know that word scares many of us, but it is healthy and needed.

My husband and I went to marriage groups at church and met personally for a six-week one-on-one class with our minister. And not only did we learn the ups and downs of marriage, we were able to discuss our finances, our roles at home, and everything that was going to be changing in our lives as soon as we said "I Do." While you may think you've talked about it all, I am sure there are items that haven't been (and should be) discussed. But I digress.

Through the counseling and the classes, there is one thing that has stood with me and in the midst of every argument - something I always remember.

Well that sure is a lie! I wish I was able to take it to heart during each and every disagreement, but I am definitely not even close to being perfect in that way. However, I want to share it with you so we can all learn and grow toward a more perfect marriage.

Your Hill to Die On

Every argument has a starting point. And while I have come to find out that half of our arguments have no clear direction because they are so meaningless, there is a reason for every single disagreement with your spouse.

I cannot even count how many times I have been frustrated at my husband throwing his shoes on the bedroom floor rather than inside the shoe bin in the closet. Or how many times I have been angry at him for not waking up on time. But what we really need to consider, is whether these arguments are really worth the fight. Are they?

You are going to bicker and yell and cry and scream but consider the reasons for all of this. Is the argument a make it or break it situation? Is your marriage and your life going to depend on it?

That is what a "hill to die on" argument is all about. It is about your truth and your passion for a particular subject. Do you absolutely have to raise your children Christian? Are you set on purchasing the less expensive home? Is that job change truly important to you? Those are the issues that are worth arguing for and are worth fighting for. And those are the disagreements that make a marriage, a marriage. They have truth, they have meaning, and they are important to you - so important that they are worth crying over, fighting over, and not liking your spouse for the next hour because of them.

So as you step into a new beautiful life as husband and wife, understand that the disagreements are going to happen...believe me, they will be there. Because we are all unique and we each have our own beliefs. But not every argument is worth fighting and while it may seem easy to understand right now, I dare you to think about your "hill to die on" the next time you encounter an argument with your fiance or your spouse. Is it a fight that is truly worth fighting?