The Secret Weapon

Written with love, by Lindsay Timmington

We know wedding planners aren’t a big secret, but they’re also not unattainable or only for the super fancy Ritz Carlton weddings.  Even though you don’t need a wedding planner to have a beautiful wedding, to avoid bridal burnout you may want to consider adding a wedding planner to your budget. 

Here’s why…

Hubby Ain't Helpful

Your husband-to-be is not interested in helping you, like legitimately not interested.  And that’s okay.  It doesn’t mean he’s bad or isn’t thrilled about seeing you walk down the aisle. It just means he honestly doesn’t care if your flowers are pink or white. But you know who does?...your wedding planner.  Not only do they care but they will jump up and down and squeal with you after you’ve landed the perfect color scheme and floral arrangement.  And isn’t that better than asking your fiancé a thousand times during football commercials what type of table linens he prefers?    

You get to keep your job!

If you want to keep your job, consider hiring a wedding planner.  Because when the higher-ups see that your browser history is full of Pinterest boards and The Knot discussions, you’re likely in for a conversation, if not a pink slip.  Yup…but your wedding planner; that “IS” his or her job and you’re the boss.  Let her do the wedding work so you can do yours.

Friends? Forget about it.

Sorry, but it’s true. Who’s gonna get sick of hearing about your wedding plans? Your friends…no matter how much they love you. Your family…no matter how happy they are for you.  Your dog… no matter how many treats you give him.  Who’s not going to get sick of it?  Your wedding planner, because this is her bread and butter, her passion and her area of expertise.  She wants to talk to you about it until every detail is in place and every dream has come true.  That way you can go to happy hour with your girls and avoid any eye rolling over dress details.

Christopher Todd Studios

The Inside Scoop

Your wedding planner is a walking, talking Pinterest board.  Better than one, in fact because they don’t just pin it, they do it.  That awesome centerpiece you pinned two years ago but have no idea how to do?  They do.  And they will. Plus, they have the inside scoop on the newest trends, best vendors and everything happening in the world of weddings.

Day-Of Disasters

Christopher Todd Studios

We know perfect doesn’t exist, but let’s be honest, you want to get pretty darn close with your wedding. And we know you and your bridesmaids aren’t going to want to soothe sobbing flower-girls or hunt for hung-over groomsmen on the big day, but your wedding planner is the ninja you need to take care of all those unexpected events that will naturally arise on your big day.

Bottom line?  Budget for a planner just like you budget for your flowers, your dress, and your cake. Not only do you avoid going all bridezilla but a wedding planner can be an integral part of a successful wedding and a total sanity saver. 

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Preferred Events, LLC is a full service wedding and event planning company. We strategically create, plan and execute memorable weddings/events.  Preferred Events can produce events as you envision it.

100 Stress-Free Tips & 100 Vendors to Get You There (...continued)

36. Aspire Images - Colorado

"Choose the 5 things that are most important to you to go right on your wedding day and put the majority of your energy into those. The rest still matters, but it's just details. If the 5 big things go right, then you've had a successful wedding and the rest is just memories - the good, the bad, the awkward, the priceless. Don't let the details stress you out and cause you to lose sight of the joy of your day." - Michelle Blanchard, Owner/Photographer

37. Signature Sounds DJ & Event Lighting - Rhode Island

Josh Wong Photography

"Work as much of "you" into your wedding as you can. Remember, it's YOUR day!" - Jay Friese, DJ/Owner

38. Katherine Herndon Photography - South Carolina

"Don't look at the wedding as the grande finale that has to be executed without a single flaw. Look at it as just the beautiful beginning to the rest of the story you get to share with the love of your life. What a privilege! When you keep the right perspective it makes it easy to not stress out over the details. It's all about the love." - Katherine Herndon, Owner/Photographer

39. Zara Creative - Michigan

"Do yoga. Seriously. It will keep your stress levels in check and get you ready for the ever stressful dress fittings leading up to the big day! ;-)" - Heather Zara, Owner

40. Bliss Bridal - Connecticut

"Most of the reactions you see on television are created for television. Not every girl has a fall-down, crying moment when she selects her gown. For most of our ladies, they feel great, gorgeous, like the best version of themselves. And they don't want to take it off. Those are the feelings to look for in "the gown"."
- Jessica Boni, Owner

41. Alda's Magnolia Hill - Arkansas

"It is all in the planning beforehand! Approve your timeline before the day of - that is what makes the day go smooth as planned." - Alda Ellis, Co-Owner

42. Ramada Grand Dakota Hotel - North Dakota

"What is most important is your love for one another, not impressing anyone."
- Pernora Kadrmas, Catering Manager

43. Inspire Me Imagery - New Jersey

"Grooms: the words "I don't care," "whatever you want dear," and "it doesn't matter to me" should never leave your lips! Always give your opinion especially if you don't care if the invites are blue or light blue. Trust me, it'll go a long way and earn you some respect as a decision maker in the process."

- John Kotlowski, Owner/Lead Photographer

44. Closer North - Maine

"Make sure you have a timeline and that everyone involved with the wedding gets one and knows where to be. Smooth." - Erica Leighton, Owner

45. Chernivsky Weddings - Illinois

"Just embrace all of the stress and learn to become comfortable with it. Stress isn't the killer, it's reacting to it and allowing it to control you and your wedding day. If you're witnessing stress then you're most likely manifesting it yourself. I know that's a harsh answer, but it's honest. Learn to understand where that stress comes from, and be an active agent in handling it." - Ben Chernivsky, Owner

46. SHOWORKS - Florida

"Only tackle one piece at a time. Don't jump around and let things get lost and misplaced both physically and mentally. You will feel much less overwhelmed if you can actually cross items off your list rather than adding on to it!" - Stefanie Berry, Creative Director/President

100 Stress-Free Tips & 100 Vendors to Get You There

Want these tips saved on your computer for when you need them the most? Download our PDF of all 100 tips here!

We contacted 9,052 vendors and narrowed that down to just 100...

Comment each day with your favorite tip of the day!
For each comment, you will entered to win a signed copy of my book, "The Overwhelmed Bride"

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1. No Boundaries Photography - Kansas

“Planning BEFORE the wedding is always a good thing. Plan to your little heart's content, but once the big day arrives, throw caution to the wind and let it happen!”
- Graciela Stanley, Owner/Photographer

2. LaFleur Plantscapes + Fresh Flora - Arizona

Neil Kreuser Photography

“Research and choose vendors that have a good reputation and that you can trust.”
– Colleen LaFleur, Owner/Principal Designer

3. RS Makeup Artistry - New York

Mark Kopko Photography

After you get engaged, think long and hard about who you are going to choose as your wedding party members - both bridesmaids and groomsmen. At times, brides and grooms feel pressured to include certain friends or family members out of fear of insulting someone. In reality, these people - aside from close family - are the ones who will be involved in all major wedding activities, and usually in the planning process as well. If brides make the smart choice to surround themselves by the people they REALLY want involved in their wedding, they will avoid a lot of drama and thus, a lot of stress." - Rachel Seedorf, Owner/Senior Makeup Artist

4. Moving Picture Weddings - Oregon

“Just to roll with the punches and embrace how the day is unfolding as your own unique day. No matter how much you plan for something there will always be twists and turns. That is all a part of the excitement of your wedding day!" - Laura Daniel, Client Support

5. Texas Old Town - Texas

"Define WHY you want to "I DO" and let that be your inspiration through your planning!" - Martha Boltz, General Manager

6. Photography by Marirosa - Virginia

"There is no right or wrong and there is no impressing everyone else - it's about celebrating your unique love story and if you keep yourself the priority, it will be stress free."
- Marirosa Anderson, Photographer/Owner

7. An Occasion Flowers - Washington

"Go to a wedding show, look at some bridal magazines, check out wedding websites.......then find a florist who understands your vision and who is willing to please YOU. Then quit looking - trust that your flowers will be beautiful and enjoy your engagement. Brides often create a lot of stress for themselves about second-guessing their choices and making changes."

- Sandy Dubsky, Owner

8. Cleveland Bridal Makeup - Ohio

"I always think it's a good plan B to master the smile and nod like you're listening when really you're somewhere light years away! Then walk away with your sanity in check!"
- Bonnie Thomas, Key Makeup Artist

9. Elegant Bridal - North Carolina

"If the wedding date is over 14 months away, do not start dress shopping too early. You may miss a new collection and may become too confused trying on too many dresses too far out. Research styles you may like first and also the  cost of dresses from different collections. Educate yourself first and set a budget."

- Ginny Griffin, Owner

10. J. Anne Photography - Nevada

"What I tell my brides in that moment is that her wedding is today. And it is the only day that her wedding day will exist. So...cool your jets, and know that you can always get mad on Monday. Because Monday isn't your wedding day. Today is. Oh, and .... don't forget to go pee before you get into your dress!"

- Jodi Inouye,
Owner/Lead Photographer

11. BeChic Bride - Missouri

Justin with Beau Vaughn Photography

"Don't expect your stylists to convert you into Carrie Underwood. You may have her hair and makeup for your big day look, but be realistic. Embrace YOUR beauty. Relish in your day. Know that there is no one in the world who looks just like you today and you are gorgeous. You don't need to be Jennifer Lawrence to take his breath away. :)" 

- Breanna Borlase and Mikayla Crane, Co-Owners/Hairstylists and Makeup Artists

12. Kentlands Mansion - Maryland

"Simple is best. It will create less stress and more of an enjoyable day for you!"

- Kristy King, Community Facility Manager

13. Music Machine DJ - Indiana

"When selecting music for your day, focus on a few key numbers. Do not try to pick every song. That makes it a chore, instead of fun. Pick the special dance songs, maybe 10 must-play tunes, and then be general in the genres you would like to hear. Let your guests make requests and drive the direction your DJ follows. You set up guidelines for you party, the must-play, play-if-you-can and do-not-play songs, but rely on your professional to read the crowd in the moment and trust his selection of the order and timing."
- Paul Chamberlin, Owner/DJ

14. Kristin La Voie Photography - Illinois

Date nights, hands down. It can be so overwhelming planning a wedding, and often times couples may find themselves in a situation where they feel like they are just going through the motions of planning a wedding without really enjoying it! I'm a believer that if something isn't fun or enjoyable, then you shouldn't be doing it! I always tell my couples to carve out time to put down their wedding binders and have a relaxing date night. Time spent together will really help remind them of the purpose of this whole crazy planning adventure and keep everything in check. At the end of the day, all the planning is to celebrate their love for one another. Nothing should get in the way of that. They need to stay true to who they are and what THEY want, too!" - Kristin Garcia, Owner

15. Deerfield - Delaware

"Imagine how important this decision/crisis/choice will be to you in five years. Having a great picture of you and your family on the day of the event with that grandmother you love - very important! The exact shade of the gold foil logo on the cocktail napkins being just a bit off?? You won't even remember that in a month, let alone five years. Be sure you run your every stress through the five-year test!" - Jeffrey Robinson, Director of Sales

16. The Bride's Shoppe - Montana

"Pretend that your wedding is a month before it really is, and have everything done by that date. Then you still will have 4 weeks to relax and actually enjoy yourself!" - Michelle Payton, Owner

17. Studio 29 Photography - Wisconsin

Get a dog and take it for runs daily! ;) Honestly, keep a binder full of your wedding dreams, wishes, fears, plans, contracts, etc. This will help you stay organized, but it will also condense all of you wedding stuff into one place. This binder also represents that you can close it and take a break/breather from wedding planning and make time for yourself. Remember, you do have a life outside of your wedding planning agenda. Do not forget to eat right, get plenty of rest, be good to yourself and relax." - Ren Davis, Photographer/Owner

18. 125 Bridal Boutique - New Hampshire

It is so very important that you surround yourself with people who do not stress you out. If you don't get along with your sister, then don't have her go with you for cake testing. Choose people who are truly there to help and guide instead of take over and be jealous."
- Natalie H, Store Manager/Buyer

19. Brushworx Hair and Makeup - Georgia

Stop looking at hair/makeup pics after you've already had your trial and loved it! It only makes you second guess your decisions and creates anxiety."

- Christine Pay, Co-Owner/Artist

20. Pearl Wedding Photography - Hawaii

Be comfortable with your vendors. And just be who you are." - Jessica Pearl, Owner

21. Wedgewood Wedding & Banquet Centers - California

A Perfect Impression

"A bride getting ready should be a special and relaxing time. Too often we see every auntie, second cousin, and random groomsman’s girlfriend bust their way into the bridal room to hang out. Decide who you want to be in the room with you ahead of time and then assign the job of 'bridal room bouncer' to the biggest loudmouth in your bridal party."
- Julia Henning, Director of Marketing

22. Magic Valley DJ Services - Idaho

Hire the proven professionals - speak freely and honestly to them about your desires and dreams for your wedding, and pay very close attention to whether they are actually listening. And if they are in fact listening and are proven professionals, relax and let them do the work. Trust in them and enjoy your special day."

- Forrest Loomis, Owner/DJ

23. Bridal Xperience - New Jersey

Don't forget about taking time out for yourself. Depending on your situation as far as the condition of your skin or hair due to stress, I give by brides homework prior to us meeting again. Most of the time I share with them some awesome home remedies for deep conditioning treatments and hair masks to try. Or, if their budget allows, to get a facial and a massage for even better results on their wedding day."

- Lissa-Marie Ribeiro, Owner/Hair & Makeup Stylist

24.  Motionworks - West Virginia

"Designate someone else to deal with details on the day of the wedding! The bride should never be confronted with little problems like a DJ who gets lost, a stuck bridesmaid's zipper, or an out of control guest. The day can feel overwhelming, so choose a trusted person to deal with anything that comes up."
- Rebecca Moran, Co-Owner

25. The Barn at Lang Farm - Vermont

Have faith that it will all be perfect. Have vendors you can count on and don't obsess." - Jon Lang, Owner

26. jasonrjonas - South Dakota

Simply look around and realize everything is for you . . . enjoy all the hard work. It is Your Day. Let us do the work and you can relive your day forever." - Jason Jonas, Videographer

27. Crown Winery LLC - Tennessee

"Sit back, take off your heels, close you eyes, and think of a peaceful place...the ocean, a beach, a forest, etc.....then breathe deeply and let yourself go there. Being a winery, we can also offer the bride (if she's 21, of course) a glass of wine to calm her down as well as her mother if need be!" - Rita Howard, CEO/Co-Owner

28. Talitha A. Tarro Photography - New Mexico

"I don't think there is any blanket advice to give to brides to cover every personality type. Some brides are calm and roll with the punches, even through rain during the middle of an outdoor ceremony. These brides realize that these little bumps are what memories are made of and laugh through it. Other brides do well hiring a wedding planner who can delegate the details."
- Talitha Tarro, Owner/Photographer

29. Bombshell Bridal Boutique - Michigan

Keep an open mind and remember that this is a NEW experience for you, so it's okay if you don't have all the answers! That's why dedicated, reputable wedding professionals are here to help!"

- Amanda Cover, Owner

30. Halley's Photography - Louisiana

I tell all of my brides that not everything will go exactly like they have planned it, and that is okay. But, I will try my best to "fix" whatever it is that needs to be fix: if that's hair, makeup, if I need to be a bridesmaid, or even bake a cake, I will do it! This seems to calm them down so they can relax and enjoy their day."
- Jennifer Halley, Owner

Fairy Dust Cakes

31. Alvamar Country Club - Kansas

"Published timelines and checklists are a great resource to use as a guide but can overwhelm brides and make you feel like you are behind from the very first day of planning. As long as you give your vendors adequate time to provide you with the best possible service on the day of your wedding, don't let timelines overwhelm you."

- Kursten Minnis, Director of Event Sales & Marketing

32. Nikki Moore Photography - Nebraska

Your wedding day is NOT about the pictures. When I work with a bride on a timeline, I am really careful to ensure we aren't shooting ALL DAY LONG because that's not only exhausting for me and them, but it can really take away from the meaningful parts of the day, and add to everyone's stress. So my advice would be to forget about of any major part of your preparation that is "just for the photos." Don't buy a second dress "just for the photos." Don't spend 30 hours on a headpiece that's "just for the photos." Do the things that you want, but do it for YOU and your own style and personality as a couple! Don't spend a lot of time planning out details just so they'll look good in a photograph - because in that case you're just trying to impress strangers!! Nobody's got time for that! There are millions of wedding blogs and a lot of "noise" out there...and expectations that you will have loads of amazing STUFF for your photographer to capture. Do your best to see past that noise. Find a photographer who sees past it too. You will forget a lot of your day, so focus on creating the elements of your wedding day that will be truly meaningful to you in 10 or 50 years." - Nikki Moore, Owner/Founder/Manager

33. Tuscany Gardens - Utah

"I instruct my brides to play the "Tony Card." When any family member or friend is persistently trying to get the bride to do something with their wedding which they simply do not want to do, rather than contend in stressful disputation, tell the person, "Tony the coordinator doesn't think that will work. Sorry!" The heat gets taken off the bride and placed elsewhere, where it rightfully belongs." - Tony Consolo,
Venue Owner/Wedding Planner/Wedding Host

34. Jeff Achen Videography & Photography, LLC - Minnesota

"Hire people that your heart and your head tell you that you can trust. You need to actually "like" the people you hire for your wedding day. So, get to know them a little bit. Ask them about their family, how they got into the wedding business, and what they love about their job. The answers will tell you a lot about them. And, ask for references!" - Jeff Achen, Videographer

35. Brock Entertainment - Arkansas

"If something goes wrong, most people won't even notice and it just makes for a better story to tell your kids when you are old and gray." - Brock Short